


The Worst EgoBang Fic You've Ever Read

by samwisewinchester



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Egobang - Freeform, F/M, I'm Sorry, M/M, New Year's Eve, Plot Twists, The D Club (Game Grumps), This Is STUPID, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 13:03:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13248801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwisewinchester/pseuds/samwisewinchester
Summary: Oh no! Suzy is out of town, and Arin doesn't have someone to kiss on New Years Eve! But maybe Dan can help with that...





	The Worst EgoBang Fic You've Ever Read

**Once upon a time, not too long ago, there lived a funny man and a thin Jew with a fro...**

“Aack! Dan!!” Arin threw his pillow across the floor in a fit of something akin to rage and romped his way over to his partner and friend, Daniel Avidan.  
“What is it, Arin? Did you have a flashback Battle Kid? Or the Companion Spring? Or Sonic Boom? Or--”  
“Nononononono,” Arin hastily interrupted. “I just realized that since Suzy is out of town doing something with her sister, I don’t have anyone to kiss when the ball drops tonight!”  
Every year since he was born at age six, Arin had kissed someone as the new year turned, but this year it seemed he’d just be alone. He felt the tears rushing to his eyes, knowing full well that even Suzy could kiss her sister, but he had no one. Oh god, he was so alone!  
“Hey big cat, it’s okay. We’ll figure something out!” Dan smiled warmly and put an arm around Arin’s shoulder’s. “Let’s find you someone to kiss!”

**They searched all around for someone to kiss, but Arin’s mouth was gross and so were his lips**

“I don’t know, Dan…” Arin looked very discouraged as they walked to Ross’ office.  
“Don’t worry about it, bud!” Dan returned with a grin. “Ross is a good guy, even if he is an evil fucking sadist. C’mon!” He knocked on the door and waited for a second before walking in.  
Ross was sitting at his desk, drawing or something. He looked up when they walked in, and Arin could see from where they stood that he had a milk mustache from probably about a week ago.  
“Uhhhh, Danny,” Arin whispered. “Ross is nasty; I don’t want to kiss him.”  
Dan just rolled his eyes and started to talk. He told Ross Arin’s predicament and waited as the Australian considered the proposal.  
At last, Ross looked to Arin and said, “Look mate, I’m sorry, but I have to kiss Holly as the ball drops! And then we’re going to fry some shrimps on the barbee. You’re welcome to watch, but I don’t think she likes threeway kissing very much, so…”  
Even though Arin didn’t want to kiss Ross’ gross face, he still felt dejected. If the most disgusting person at the office wouldn’t kiss him, then who would?

**Around the office, the two boys did go. For someone to kiss, they searched high and low. Barry and Kevin and Jon were all gone, and Ninja Brian thought the whole thing was a yawn. They even asked Ryan and Matt, two college dropouts, but they just said, “We’re not gay,” and continued making out.**

“Holy shit Dan,” Arin sobbed. “I’ve been married for years, but apparently I’ll never find love!!”  
Daniel felt awful seeing his friend like this. He didn’t know what to do, what Arin would be okay with, what he might do if Dan suggested what had been in his heart from the very beginning. But he had to risk it. For Arin.

**Just as it seemed his wish would never come true, and Arin was sulking in a pile of goo, Dan said, “Wait man, this can’t be the end. I’ll kiss your stupid face, because I’m your best friend.”**

Arin’s head shot up at the words, and hope filled his once-dead eyes. “Y-you really me it?” his words warbled out, tears and snot everywhere.  
Dan grinned, “Of course I do, silly. I’d do anything for you!”  
Finally, Arin smiled too. He tentatively reached a hand out towards Dan’s, and Dan took it without hesitation, his ridiculously huge thumb rubbing circles in Arin’s palm.  
They stood like that for a second, staring deeply into each others’ eyes until the moment was broken by a stupid Australian voice yelling, “It’s time!! It’s almost midnight!”  
Together, they rushed to the room where the TV was playing the Time’s Square footage, and with their hands still clasped, they awaited the fateful moment.  
“Five, four,” everyone was shouting in unison, “three, two, one!!!”  
Suddenly, the world went white for both Arin and Dan. To Arin, it was something completely new and unheard of. Certainly, he’d made his jokes about him and Dan, but it had never crossed his mind that something could ever actually happen between them. But to Dan, this was something he had been imagining since he first met Arin. Oh, how had imagined those soft, supple lips. This was it, the culmination of all his sexual hopes and dreams, and Danny knew that now, his life was complete. He didn’t need any more, but he couldn’t have lived with any less.  
“Dan,” Arin whispered softly as they pulled away. “What...what does this mean?” He looked so anxious and so unsure, and Danny couldn’t help but pull him into his arms and hold him tight.  
“It only means what you want it to mean, my love,” he replied.  
Arin couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. What did he want? What truly? At last, he figured it out. He knew. “Dan, what I want…” he paused. After a moment of deep thought, he went on. “What I want… IS FOR EVERYONE TO BUY OUR NEW GAME GRUMPS T-SHIRT!!!”

**And so, just like that, all the relationships could stay strong, and all the greater grew their loving bonds. Arin and Suzy lived happily ever more, and Dan probably fell in love with Manticore.**

~~THE END~~

**Author's Note:**

> Holy fuck, what is this? This was literally just me trying to get my creative juices flowing again so I could write actually good stuff. Hey, if you laughed, let me know! If you cried, let me know! Anything else? Let me know! Okay, bye.


End file.
